Finding A Babysitter

So, I'm not sure if I was an ordinary babysitter or not? I babysat for whatever I got paid, I fed the kids dinner, bathed the kids, put the kids to bed, cleaned the dishes picked up the house and did whatever else that needed done before I sat down to watch any T.V. Babysitters these days expect to be paid a lot and do hardly anything. My niece told me the going rate is $10 an hour, is this true? I have my kids bathed, in jammies, fed and my house clean when the babysitter gets to the house. All they have to do is put the kids to bed by 7:30, that means the kids can play for 30minutes and watch a video for 30 minutes and they still can't do that! The older girls don't play with the kids, but they can usually get the kids to bed.
Two weeks ago I had a sweet young 13 year old girl come and baby-sit because my usual girl was out of town. We left at 6:20 and I said, "the baby and Hanna are very tired and need to go to sleep no later that 7:00." They where bathed and fed all she had to do was put them to bed and I even told her all the steps to do so. After Danny and I got out of the temple at 9:00, I called to see how things went and was going to ask if we could grab a bite to eat, but she said, "I'm about to put the kids to bed." So we came straight home! The house was a mess (not a huge mess, but can't they pick up the game they played)? She still made $10.00, even though she did nothing I asked. My kids did have a fun time though. I did like that she played with them because the older girls don't do that. I'll have her baby-sit in the day next time, when no one needs to go to bed.
What do you pay? And what do you expect done?

BEFORE

AFTER

What To Do About Tantrums

I know that we all deal with tantrums sometime or another, but what do we do when our children throw one? We can limit tantrums by giving children choices; for breakfast you can give them options, would you like cereal, waffle, or an egg and toast...after they choose one (if they say, "No, I want a ham and cheese sandwhich." You say, "That's not a choice, the choices are...") you make them one of the options and they throw a tantrum, "No, I didn't want that..." We need to make sure we don't play the oh, I'm sorry (happy voice) did you want this, this, this...What we need to do when this happens is get down on their level so you can look at them right in the eyes while holding both arms down by their side and say (in a stern voice), "No, we do not behave this way, if you do not stop you will be sent out of the room." Then follow through! If the child is sent out of the room and will not stay out then you need to put them somewhere they can't get out or do the Super Nanny thing (which makes me crazy and very hard for not to give up. So I put my kids in the garage, which is attached to my house). I let my children back when the screaming stops and they're ready to come back without screaming. They must not get their way now just because they suffered they still need to eat what you made or nothing, that's the new choices.

Other times when my child just starts throwing a tantrum and I'm not sure why, I try and find out what the problem is (don't just do the you want this, this, this thing....) Again I get down on their level hold both hands down by their side and this time ask them, "Use your words." If your child can't speak very well, still say that and have them do their best to tell you what they want. If it is something that is not irrational and they can have what they want make them use their words in a calm voice. You say to them, "How do you ask?" They should not just say, "please" they need to say as much as they can say of what they want and please...then thank you.

I have found that children throw tantrums more when...
1. They're tired
2. They're board (after time out, change their envronment).
3. They want attention (negative or positive) (after time out, play with them, give them some attention).
4. Mom allows it (she gives them what they scream for).

*Giving your child choices (2 or 3) as much as possible will help limit tantrum throwing.