Parenting the Young Child

Parenting The Young Family

“There is no role in life more essential and more eternal than that of motherhood.” Elder Ballard

     I.        How to be more prepared each day?

·         Wake up a little earlier than the rest of the family.

·         Read scriptures

·         Pray

·         Write down your daily checklist.

1.       Something you want to do for yourself. (read for 20 mins./blog/nap/veg…)

2.       Something you want to do for someone in your family. (call grandma/write a note husband)

3.       Something you want to do in your world. (clean the floor/organize a closet)

4.       Write any other tasks you would like to get done that day.

·         Exercise

   II.        How to manage our home with our children?

*Routine and Chores; which will also teach our children responsibility as well.

·         Routine/Schedule

1.       Morning (say prayers, make your bed, get dress, brush teeth & hair)

                                                         i.            7:00am Breakfast

                                                       ii.            7:30am family scripture reading and prayers

2.       Afternoon (after school snack, homework, then free time)

3.       Dinner (sweep, dishes, front room, clear cups, wipe counters)

4.       Bed 

                                                         i.            8:00pm family prayer

·         Chores

Linda Eyre from her book A Joyful Mother of Children says “There are many specific ways to cut down on stress in a normal hectic household. Probably one of the most vital is to share the workload with husband and children. Although this will almost inevitably produce mass pandemonium initially, it’s worth sticking to it until the process becomes expected and routine. Don’t despair, no matter what, because as children learn to accept responsibility -- from the tiny beginnings of the two-year-old being able to get a diaper for the baby to the big things like doing a good job cleaning the bathroom -- it is so much the better for everybody involved.

Many times we say to ourselves in exasperation, “I could do it so much faster and easier myself!” Just remember -- it’s worth the time and trouble in the long run to teach children responsibility.”

Daily Chores for Mom

·         Kitchen (unload the dishwasher and fill dishwasher throughout the day and wipe down counters)

·         Start a load of laundry (place folded laundry on children’s bed for them to put away)

·         Dinner

·         Whatever else on to do list (I find doing a big chore daily works well).

Daily Chores for children

·         Younger children can do all your chores with you. (wash dishes, play with pots and pans, unload silver wear, match socks, fold towels, rotate laundry, shake the salad dressing…)

·         The older children are in charge of putting away their laundry, other personal items and after dinner chore.

Weekly Chores

·         Saturday Morning (every member of the family has a chore and I check the kids). We do get a Saturday treat after chores.

·         Our daily and weekly chores are expected with no allowance. We do have an “EXTRA” chore chart with prices next to each chore. If the children want to make money after family chores they can do extras.

           

 III.        How to teach the young child?

Children learn best through play. Set-up a routine schedule that works well for both you and your child. You can break it up throughout the day.

·         Schedule a lesson plan into your day. And talk a lot, emphasize words.

·         Reading Time

·         Arts and Crafts

·         Letters, Numbers, Colors, Shapes, Sorting, Patterns

·         Sing Songs/listen to music

·         Color

·         Write

·         Build with blocks (don't let them destroy your tower)

·         Play dress-up

P    Play cars (talk with them about what they are doing "Max is driving the YELLOW car OVER the bridge)

·         Count (can do this while driving)

·         Rhyme Words (can do this while driving)

·         Respect for property (don't let them destroy toys)

·         Have Quiet Time (not nap time, quiet alone time. Need to expect more from our children)

 IV.        How to make time for yourself,  husband and each child?

We build deep and loving family relationships by doing simple things together, like family dinner and family home evening and by just having fun together. In family relationships love is really spelled t-i-m-e, time. Taking time for each other is the key for harmony at home. We talk with, rather than about, each other. We learn from each other, and we appreciate our differences as well as our commonalities. We establish a divine bond with each other as we approach God together through family prayer, gospel study, and Sunday worship.”  Dieter F. Uchtdorf

·         “Mommy is a person” (Refer to article on powerofmoms.com)

·         Weekly Date Night with husband (even if it’s at home with takeout & a movie)

·         Date with child (not necessarily out just sometime 1 on 1 with each child...painting nails, playing a game, reading a book, going to the store)

*I feel we can Make Time for anything we really want to.

V.       Wonderful resources listed below.

Excellent Resources

Here are some excellent resources that have helped me in parenting.

http://powerofmoms.com/                                                                                       
Here are the topics of just a few of  the articles…                          

·         Are You Getting What YOU Need Out Of Motherhood?

·         10 Ways to Achieve Mommy Burnout

·         Big Things are Made out of Little Things

·         Six Reasons to Never Give Up on Motherhood

·         Joy or “Just Wait”?

·         Mommy Is A Person

·         Your Children Want YOU!

·         Moms And Dads Are Just…Different 

http://valuesparenting.com/  

The Happy Family                                           Parenting Helps
 Four Phase Course                                    Value of the Month                   Entitlement Trap
 Family Rules                                             Family Night Lessons                                 
 Family Economy                                       How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex
 Family Traditions                                      Lifebalance

Favorite blog: http://www.71toes.com/  Shawni Eyre Pothier  young mother of the year in AZ for 2011,  Mother of 5, TOFW Speaker, Writer and Author A Mother’s Book of Secrets

A must read talk, Happiness in Family Life  https://www.lds.org/ click on resources then click on Home and family Happiness in Family Life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.”                       ~ The Family: A Proclamation to the World ~

Books:

Parenting books by Linda & Richard Eyre…    http://www.eyresfreebooks.com/booklist.html

·         A Joyful Mother of Children

·         I Didn't Plan to Be a Witch by Linda Eyre

·         Teaching Your Children Joy

·         Teaching Your Children Responsibility

·         Teaching Your Children Values

·         Teaching Your Children Sensitivity

·         How to Talk to your Child About Sex

·         Three Steps to a Strong Family

·         The Entitlement Trap

A Mother's Book of Secrets by Linda Eyre and Shawni Eyre Pothier

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber

My Dream Was to be a Mother

This is a talk/presentation I gave to the YW in our ward at their YW activity on Wednesday night. The topic was what did you major in and why...When talking to the girls I expanded on each semesters challenges and on other college courses. I tried to just talk with them, but I wrote this talk out as my guide.

Before I begin, I just want to you to know that when I speak of my career it may sound as though I’m putting down any other career. I was asked to speak about what I choose to major in and why. Yes, I’m very proud of what I do so that is what I’m going to talk about tonight and you will come to realize, it is the best choice out there! Ha! So let me begin!
Since I was a very young girl all I ever wanted to grow up and be was a mother. I was one that wrote a letter to my mom at around 7 years old telling her if she had another baby, she wouldn’t have to do anything for her I would even name her, Brittany or Breanne. We’ll my mom never did give me that gift so I was a strange little girl who loved my dolls until I was old enough to babysit. At 12 I was the ward babysitter, I would even sit with the families at church and get the babies to sleep and the mother’s would all say, how do you do that? I continued to babysit and nanny even after I was married I loved babies so much! My goal was to have 11 children, after meeting Danny he put an end to my 11, he wanted a big family too, but it had to be an even number, so it was 10 or 12 he said. Well, the number has gone down just a little to somewhere around 8. But Danny says, if you have twins at baby 8 and end up having 9 we have to have 10, because an odd number just dosen’t work.
Well, at 18 I went to college, just looking to get my MRS. degree, I just needed a husband to settle down with and have those babies with! I really never enjoyed school and really struggled at almost every subject so the thought of college seemed impossible. Well after spending a year in UT., gaining residency, I was thinking that the only thing out there that would be of any interest to me would be Elementary Ed. After meeting with a school councilor I found out about Early Childhood Education, which was only a 2 year degree, working with the young child and all the classes really interested me! So I started in that major at U.V.S.C. After a year there and 2 years in UT and no prospects in marriage I heard that if I was looking to marry I needed to be at good’ol RICKS COLLEGE! So I went there of course, because that was my real major in life! The major there had a little different name called Professional Preschool Education and there is where I really got into the program, it really was difficult in so many ways, writing lesson plans, teaching in the child labs and trying to keep 20 kids entertained during your lesson while other college students watch from the observation booths…having to take generals and tests…any major even if you think it’s going to be the an easy one has struggles. By the end of the 2 year major I was very confident with the decision I made, I loved it and I knew I could go out and teach at any preschool!
After graduating and no marriage I decided to do what the Lord had been telling me all along, I was to serve a mission. After being home from my mission for just 5 months I was married, yes, a lot of our life is on the Lord’s time and I was in denial until then.
After having children and being able to use all the wonderful resources that I learned in college I became even more grateful for my degree. I have friends who majored in all different majors, that call me asking what do I do with my tantruming 2 year old, my bored 3 year old, how can I better prepare my 4 year old for Kindergarten…When I answer their questions or ask them if they’ve taught them this, or do this with them…they just had never thought of the many different things you can do to help teach your children.
I hope that all of your biggest desires is to be a mother. I know there is nothing more important in life than being that! I have a friend who I admire greatly and hope to be like one day. I served with her in my last ward in the Young Women’s program, she has 9 children (8 sons, 1 daughter) this woman was a Valedictorian of B.Y.U. and what she was, was an amazing mother! Her children range from Doctors, Lawyers, Dentist, Musicians, all faithful members of the church, this women was not just a housewife as you can tell she used her talents, skills and knowledge in teaching her children. David O McKay said, “No other success can compensate for failure in the home.” Just try and remember that whatever you do choose to do in life not to let it take over our true purpose as a daughter of God.
There are times in life when we will be needing to use the skills we learned in college or talents that we’ve been blessed with. I feel so blessed having my degree, because right now it is what’s keeping our family a float. There are times we might start something for the purpose of our children and family, but down the road we get so involved in it that we lose sight of the reason and purpose for starting it.
Elder Russell M. Nelson said, “Our family is the focus of our greatest work and joy in this life; so will it be throughout all eternity.” I hope we will always remember our true purpose in life.
You all have your own gifts and desires that will help point you in the direction that is best for you. I hope that if you get a chance that you do take a few classes (usually offered as an elective) in Early Childhood because they will only teach you better mothering skills and ideas for teaching your children!

I Want to Hear From You

I love reading blogs that inspire me as a mother. I love to hear of the wonderful summer activities and the ways mother's continue teaching their children during the summer time. Sometimes we can get overwhelmed seeing what other moms do, but try and take a few ideas or activities and give them a try.
Here are some blogs that inspire me (these girls are sisters and the daughters of author Linda J. Erye that I talked about in my last post).
http://71toes.blogspot.com/

http://looslifamily.blogspot.com/ this is hers too http://www.powerofmoms.com/ (I'm so sad I just missed this retreat I would have loved to have gone, what a bummer! Oh, just saw the price, but I know it would have been awesome!) And her kids' blog which really has great ideas! http://powerofkids-lp.blogspot.com/

http://valuesparenting.com/ Linda and Richard's website (the parent's)

Please tell me what you do with your children in the summer time. Or if you know of other blog links with great teaching ideas.

MOTHER'S

Okay, my goal was to post each month for this year and my time is almost up for the month of May. I should have posted this on Mother's Day, but I was busy. One thing I learned this year on Mother's Day is that this day is not necessarily a day off, it's a day we get to reflect on the joys of motherhood. If we view Mother's Day as a day off we might end up being grumpy most of the day, so just remember next year, that it's a day to be grateful for the opportunity we have to be mother's.

One of my favorite books on motherhood is A Joyful Mother of Children, by Linda J. Eyre.

Here is a beautiful tribute to women from Elder Maxwell‏... you can view on YouTube...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKWDR_y6HT0

Please continue to do a wonderful job, Mother's you are needed and loved!

Cleaning Tips

I've had a some request for cleaning tips/suggestions. There is a lot to say about cleaning, but for now I'll touch on a couple items.
Chores:
We each have 2 weekly chores that we do on Tuesdays. If the kids get their chores done by evening time they get a treat. If they don't finish their chores no treat. On the chore list there are additional jobs they can do to earn money. The job prices are not too much because my kids are young and don't do that great of job to make more money yet. Of course as the kids get older the amount of money they can make per job will go up much more. My friend gave me this idea and I like it a lot because you want to teach your children they need to help clean as a family, but then you also want them to start earning money so you can teach them about savings, spending and (for us) tithing. Here is our chore list...

Name/Weekly Chores

Jenny 1) Sweep and mop 2) Bathrooms (I get until Friday to finish my jobs.)
Danny 1) Repairs 2) Clean up front of house
Max 1) Dust 2) Empty all garbage's
Hanna 1) Vacuum 2 bedrooms and front room
Van 1) Wash walls 2) Pickup backyard toys

Extra Chores

1) Wash computer screen $0.10 2) Put away silverware $0.10
3) Wash walls $0.10 4) Wash bathroom sink $0.10
5) Shake out rugs $0.10 6) Wipe down window sills $0.10
7) Polish door knobs $0.10 8) Water plants $0.10
9) Wash window $0.30 10) Pickup yard trash $0.30
11) Blow leaves $0.30 12) Vacuum furniture $0.30
13) Clean out car $0.30 14) Wash baseboards $0.30
15) Vacuum window/door tracks $0.30

Dishes:
Start your dishwasher after it's full of course, but try and do this after dinner or if it has a little more room then after breakfast. Unload your dishes before "cooking" your next meal. Your dishwasher is then always ready to load and rarely do dishes need to sit in the sink.

Laundry:
Personally laundry must come as a strength to me. The reason I believe it's a strength is because I hear a lot of people complain about it and I don't feel I'm always doing it and I never feel my laundry is out of control. There are 7 of us that I do laundry for. Some people believe because I have younger kids it's easier, truthfully I think with younger ones the hard part is folding and so with younger kids I have less amount of clothes to "wash" but more to fold and without help. I'm not sure, because like I said I only have little ones we'll see in a few years if my opinion has changed. Anyway, I'll tell you what I do and you can try it if you'd like...
I do laundry on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. Sometimes I'll wash a load on other days if I see my basket is already full. I wash about 2 to 4 loads each of the 3 days. As soon as one load is dry I transfer clothes and I fold the load right then. I have a large enough laundry room that I just leave the folded clothes in each child's pile until I'm done with all loads and then I put them away (all the way away). I plan on having my bigger kids start putting their own clothes away soon, just haven't gotten to that yet. Doing 2-4 loads of laundry only takes about 2-4 hours and "you" don't have to do too much of the work during that time. I feel if you plan on doing your laundry then finish the job and then it won't feel like you're doing it all day nor all of the time.
Let me know if this helps at all.