I know that we all deal with tantrums sometime or another, but what do we do when our children throw one? We can limit tantrums by giving children choices; for breakfast you can give them options, would you like cereal, waffle, or an egg and toast...after they choose one (if they say, "No, I want a ham and cheese sandwhich." You say, "That's not a choice, the choices are...") you make them one of the options and they throw a tantrum, "No, I didn't want that..." We need to make sure we don't play the oh, I'm sorry (happy voice) did you want this, this, this...What we need to do when this happens is get down on their level so you can look at them right in the eyes while holding both arms down by their side and say (in a stern voice), "No, we do not behave this way, if you do not stop you will be sent out of the room." Then follow through! If the child is sent out of the room and will not stay out then you need to put them somewhere they can't get out or do the Super Nanny thing (which makes me crazy and very hard for not to give up. So I put my kids in the garage, which is attached to my house). I let my children back when the screaming stops and they're ready to come back without screaming. They must not get their way now just because they suffered they still need to eat what you made or nothing, that's the new choices.Other times when my child just starts throwing a tantrum and I'm not sure why, I try and find out what the problem is (don't just do the you want this, this, this thing....) Again I get down on their level hold both hands down by their side and this time ask them, "Use your words." If your child can't speak very well, still say that and have them do their best to tell you what they want. If it is something that is not irrational and they can have what they want make them use their words in a calm voice. You say to them, "How do you ask?" They should not just say, "please" they need to say as much as they can say of what they want and please...then thank you.
I have found that children throw tantrums more when...
1. They're tired
2. They're board (after time out, change their envronment).
3. They want attention (negative or positive) (after time out, play with them, give them some attention).
4. Mom allows it (she gives them what they scream for).
*Giving your child choices (2 or 3) as much as possible will help limit tantrum throwing.
2 comments:
This is a great reminder. I have a tendancy to not take the time and actually deal with the problem. I used to be great at doing this but I've become lazy with my second child. Thankfully, she doesn't throw many hissies but it's always good to get back on track. Good post.
I like the HALT rule for children behaving badly at all ages. If they do so, consider the following:
Are they Hungry? Angry? Lonely...meaning they need a little attention/one-on-one time? or Tired?
I find that the problem is usually more one of the above. When you address that underlying concern, you and the child can better deal with the issue at hand.
By the way, I stumbled upon the blog by chance, and I really like the posts - I hope you don't mind if I look more often!
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